Paul McCartney eloquently explains that the melody of the Beetles hit song, Blackbird, comes from their version of a classical tune by Bach. But what I find so comfortingly haunting are the lyrics.
Do you ever hear a song for the first time and wonder if it was meant to be that you hear it at that very moment? Here are some of the lyrics:
“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly… all your life”
“You are only waiting for this moment to arise”
“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these sunken eyes and learn to see…all your life”
“You are only waiting for this moment to be free”
“Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly.. INTO the light of a dark black night”
It feels more like a life lesson and less like a song. Nonetheless, the lyrics are freeing. I had the unfortunate ah-ha moment –after the fact– that for the last almost 4 years I was oppressed by what I thought was a mentor but was actually a money hungry mongrel. In the last 8 months I have learned more and felt more free than ever before. Sure, I learned along the way but I only learned what I was taught, which was very limited. I was under the thumb of some ding dong, who shall remain nameless, because contrary to the media, I don’t give power to those types. Have you ever felt bamboozled? I hope that instead of this feeling cryptic, this helps you to relate to your own story.
We just have to remember that everything is a learning experience and it all happens for a reason. It is not our plan but His. Let that and the lyrics sink in. You are special, you have a purpose and you are not going anywhere until you figure out that it’s not about the destination but the journey. We have to embrace it all. One of my favorite concepts is remembering that when it is raining and feels so gloomy, that the sun is still a fire ball in space and shining just as brightly, you just can’t see it at the moment. Perception is everything.
The hardest part thus far about this situation has been the heart wrenching realization that even though you eventually learn and move on, those people don’t change and they have their next victims, whether intended or not, in line to experience it next. Unless the next of kin are very witty. A realist, my husband would say, they too will fall in the trap. I am an eternal optimist, and I’d say more times than not, it keeps me propelling forward and in good spirits. It’s just the times when you realized you may have been a little too optimistic that you feel foolish.
The added item that muddy’s the water is mental illness. Sometimes people anticipate the best and make good on their promises…until they don’t. One of my other new favorite sentence endings. Even though someone has the best intentions at first there is one thing you cannot control…mental illness. My life is plagued with mental illness, so I am especially sensitive to it. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, in fact, it makes it more complicated! So some moments are filled with regret and animosity and then the next moment is filled with feeling helpless, pity and sorrow.
To each their own. We address our emotions as they come. The most important part that I have learned is that we recognize these emotions as just that. It’s when you allow them to consume you, define you and control you that they become unhealthy. If you accept them as an emotion, process them as such and let them leave just like they came…THAT is power. That is meditation, that is not allowing your feelings to control you, but acknowledging them and releasing them. In one ear and out the other.
If you haven’t heard of the Blackbird song, or you are craving to hear it after this, check the song out here. I’m so glad you are with me on this journey.
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