Understanding true happiness means we see the value of being motivated by duty and love. When we act out of duty and love, we know that we provide value to our lives and our society.
Shared from Think Like A Monk by Headway App
Author: Mel
Child of God, mom of 2, happily married since 2005 and embracing the journey to balance 2 Entrepreneur careers, friends and family life.
Gifts
Let me be the first to tell you to stop giving gifts that you can’t give all the way!
Older people do not keep up with technology the way that you get people do.
I know, I know, we want them to keep up so we can keep them in the loop. I’m here to gently and lovingly tell you to give those gifts but go one step further!
Teach them how to be used! I cannot tell you how many people I visit that want so badly to utilize their new fancy gifts, but have no idea how.
So the next time you want to give a smart phone, or a web cam, walk the person through how to I stall it. Or better yet, install it for them. Then show them how to work it. Offer to teach them. Write down the instructions. They are going to forget as soon as you leave/hang up.
They will appreciate the gift 1000x more. Trust me. This is your public service announcement!
Big hair
Have you seen the woman with the huge hair? The man still driving the station wagon, the person with the glasses from 1973.
Most of these people ha e the funds to upgrade their life. That is not the problem. In fact, they don’t have a problem. People often times have a great and prosperous time in their lives. Their brain associates that time with success, love, fame, fortune. It etched a memory in their brain and they want to stay in that headspace for as long as as they can. These are those people.
So the next time you see someone like that. No need to poke fun, they lived their best life and they are still relishing in it.
Like funny ha-ha
Best (clean) joke at Halloween this year: “How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?”
“One, but they have to want to change.”
The joke is seriously entertaining but isn’t it true? I wanted to be a financial advisor since I was 17 and the one thing that is so true is people have to want improvement or it just doesn’t work.
This isn’t just the case with saving habits or improving investment strategies. It’s true with anything in life <insert any solution to any problem>.
Even worse, the older we get the more we resist change. Do you know anyone who still has a flip phone?
Any career that teaches people a new way to do things has an up hill battle, and I commend you. It all starts with showing them you are there to help and you are useful. Many times I will fix an unrelated problem that people are hung up on. Like figuring out cash back on a credit card, downloading a Fitbit software, or fixing a cel phone.
Smarty Pants
I used to work with this guy who thought using big words was cool. Cool to sound smart, make others feel inferior. Who knows why?! In the year 2000 I learned logical categorical syllogisms. Today I like working with Fibonacci Retracements. Big words don’t scare me. Neither does antidisestablishmentarianism. What do these words have to do with one another? Nothing! Paraphrasing Einstein… KISS- keep it simple stupid. If you are working with someone in any capacity and they are trying to one up you, by talking in circles or trying to sound smart, they are just scared. Find someone else to associate with.
“‘Til Death Due Us Part!”
Who would vow to such an audacious sentence?! It’s no secret that 50% of marriages end in divorce. It should be more like the meme’s we hear about. Here is my most popular meme on my Pinterest account of supposedly 27,000 monthly viewers.
Funny not funny. I don’t claim to know all of the answers. But I can tell you I have been with my husband for (dare I say?) since 1999. Yeah, we met when we were 5, no, not really. How about the meme that you should have to agree before marriage how many t-shirts your husband can own?! Or how about making sure the wife knows that dinner will be expected each night for the rest of her life.
Marriage is hard. But with the right mindset, you can make it fun. The first rule is there are no rules. The second rule is you have to go with the flow. The third rule is you have to hold your own unless you actually can’t. The fourth rule is you have to have a sense of humor. The fifth rule is sex, health and money issues cannot be unresolved. The sixth rule is that you have to remain a team, even though it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. The kids can’t come first.
Wallah! All of your marriage problems solved….
Hypocrocy
Our mind is a funny thing. It likes to normalize everything we do and question what everyone else does.
Recently I was driving down the highway and was behind a car with the license plate that read: CNCRSUX. I read this to mean cancer sucks. I ended up passing the car and when I looked over the person was smoking a cigarette. My mind instantly went banana’s.
I also have friends that have made comments about lots of random things: motorcyclists who wear helmets and shorts at the same time. Or leathers and no helmet.
People that are wearing a mask pulled down and smoking. The list of oxymoron’s is endless.
But aren’t we all just trying to get along in this world?
Diabetics eat sugar but take medicine.
People with anxiety drink caffeine.
Overweight people work out.
The saying goes that a Plumber’s pipes are always leaky. It’s a saying for a reason people! It’s true! What you do all of the time, is not enjoyable for you to do when you are ready to relax!
We like to judge others, or maybe contribute to the lunacy and just try to take care of others, but we often miss ourselves. Or we are trying to make up for a lack in our own lives. Likely, we are just projecting onto other people our past inadequacies.
We all fall short of the perfection that is our Lord Jesus Christ. But why is it SO HARD to always forget that and give grace to people?
Most of the time I chalk it up to being a comedian and finding the funny aspects of life. Is it okay to laugh about my perception of someone or some thing? I used to think I had an evil spirit, but I have grown spiritually and recognize that when I am judging someone, it’s not to hurt them, it’s to entertain me. I’ve also learned to laugh at myself. Maybe I’ll be like Mother Teresa someday and will mature even further to look past those things. My focus is on love. Show someone you love them today. Don’t just say it, actually show it.
Math, Science and Budgeting
Doing money together is one of the largest causes of couples not staying together. With a little help, you can start to apply the math and science and leave your opinions out of it.
If you agree with the old split the bills in half system, but one person makes more money than the other, then the lower income individual is getting “taxed” more? Even our national tax system is set up to have people that make more, pay more tax. Check out 2020 marginal tax rates from the IRS:
- https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/irs-provides-tax-inflation-adjustments-for-tax-year-2020
Marginal Rates: For tax year 2020, the top tax rate remains 37% for individual single taxpayers with incomes greater than $518,400 ($622,050 for married couples filing jointly). The other rates are:- 35%, for incomes over $207,350 ($414,700 for married couples filing jointly);
- 32% for incomes over $163,300 ($326,600 for married couples filing jointly);
- 24% for incomes over $85,525 ($171,050 for married couples filing jointly);
- 22% for incomes over $40,125 ($80,250 for married couples filing jointly);
- 12% for incomes over $9,875 ($19,750 for married couples filing jointly).
Many people come from divorced households that one partner had issues with how much money was spent. A lot of the divison of household income comes from this experience. One way to combat that is to have one joint bank account that joint expenses are paid from. This leaves the extra money with each individual to do with it what they wish.
Do you “share” expenses with your significant other? How do you split them? Do you add up all of the expenses and then divide that by 2? You get half and I get half. Here is a good joint budgeting website for more insight:
https://adamhagerman.com/share-expenses-living-together/
Another great idea is to have a budget for the items that come up every year but people act like it is a surprise. Take Christmas for example. You know it is coming, so there should be a dollar amount that you set aside for that each month. This way when Christmas comes around, you don’t have to charge it on your credit card.
The zero based budget is one of the most popular budgets. This is where you tell all of your money where to go until there is zero left. You do it intentionally and factor in all of your expenses.
That car you want to upgrade, that annual HOA, that extra friend birthday present, that girl party you want to splurge on a _____? All taken care of, with a sinking fund.
If you are in a pattern or habit and you aren’t sure where to start, you can take a finance class. Dave Ramsey has an entire Financial Peace University that helps people reset and feel confident in their spending choices. Some people agree with Influencer’s and some do not. The point is to start SOMEWHERE. You can figure out who you like later, just pick one and begin.
I don’t work or make money from Dave Ramsey, but I couldn’t find any great articles from Susie Orman. I personally went through Financial Peace University (FPU) in 2015 right before I decided this career was for me! I do volunteer to teach FPU and love what it stands for. Although not perfect, it is a great place to begin your journey to financial freedom.
Science tells us that individuals and couples are both happier when there is not a stress on money. Math tells us that if you live within your means it is possible. The hard part is getting your mind and spirit to work together. It is possible. The biggest clue is to not close your eyes. Do the work each month and it will get easier and before you know it, you will be adult-ing so hard!
You are not alone. Reach out to someone (even me) if you need help.
Sights and sounds can hurt? Feel things we cannot see? In-tune with your body?
Can you be hurt without even being touched?
- Bullies use harsh words and “hurt your feelings”. Some people let those comments resonate, some retaliate and some are so distraught they take their own lives. What dictates our level of emotion?
- Someone yells in your ear so loud that it’s painful. They didn’t touch you, so why does it hurt?
- You hear or someone gives you bad news and it gives you a stomach ache or headache or makes you sick.
But none of these things touch you…
So how do people without ever being touched get physically or mentally ill?
What about people that grow up normal and then due to a outside circumstance, like an injury or a traumatic event, develop or trigger a mental illness?
Why do 22 vets/soldiers commit suicide every day? Why or how are they hurting so much they cannot bare it any further?
How about hearing or seeing things that are not really there? It’s not just the schizophrenics, we’ve all been there. I remember when my Great Dane, Zeus died, I caught myself petting a blanket on the floor with my foot when I was watching TV. My husband and I also saw him in the house after he was gone. We were told that phantom sightings of your pet are normal because you are used to them always being there.
You go to a concert or shoot a gun and you hear sound that’s not actually there! You hear about people getting in fights and getting there “bell rung” or hearing ringing in there ear but in fact, there is no sound that anyone else can hear.
How about vertigo? How is it the world feels like it’s spinning out of control when in fact it’s not. How did doctors figure out the method of Dix Hallpike, Epley, and Supine Roll or Canalith Repositioning or Semont Liberatory or Gufoni Manuever or Brandt Doroff to fix the feeling of being dizzy!?
How do babies learn to use their hands and learn how to eat and learn how to potty train. Why do they cry when you take their sucker away? It hurts!!!
So many things in this world hurt that don’t touch you.
If that doesn’t prove that we are spiritual beings in a human body trying to figure out how to use it, sometimes abusing it, and eventually leaving it, I don’t know what is.
Have you heard of so many examples of people dying of a broken heart?
How can you feel wind but you can’t see it?
How can I call my best friend on a whim and it just so happens that she needed that call more than anything to cheer her up from her day.
Why do you feel so good after a workout? Your body hurts but your mind is sharp and your stress is low.
Some people say all of this is science, although most is un-explainable.
How can some people be in tune with their body and some people have no idea what their body is saying?
How can some people go to the doctor at the drop of a hat, while others know something is wrong but they ignore it? Are you in tune with your body?
I say…our creator invented science and the mind, body and spirit are normally beautiful things. Sometimes our minds can get out of control and affect us in the most extremely painful ways.
How about the other things we cannot see, like virus’. Oh. yes. I. did. Some people they hurt, some people they kill, some people they use as a host. Virus’ don’t care, and why are there so many different ways it impacts people?
In the middle of a pandemic (who had to look up the definition of pandemic like I did?) It is the most delicate balance of mental and physical health. Your balance is your business and no one else’s. You must do what is right for you and your family. Most importantly, try try TRY not to judge other people’s choices. We are all fighting this battle individually AND globally. Try and show grace and love and kindness in a world of darkness, be the star.
Dedicated to AJ Betts.
Energy
Have you ever traveled with a dog who knows where you are going before you get there? They start to get antsy, they may whine or pace or pant. They know what’s about to happen.
If not, have you ever heard of a therapy dog that knows before their owner is going to go through a traumatic event like a anxiety attack, a seizure etc.?
How do dogs know this!?! The answer is energy.
So everything emits energy. Isn’t that simple science? Different things emit different kinds of energy.
Recently, I’ve gotten into learning about crystals. My sister gave me an early birthday present that is a water bottle brand called Hasana. It has a compartment to put your choice of crystals in, depending on your mood. The water is said to become infused with the energy of the crystals.
It came with Rose Quartz which promotes self-love. It may seem a little different or crazy, and that’s because it is. Crazy-cool! We need all the help we can get loving ourselves. If you didn’t eat the breakfast you wish you would have, or if you didn’t go to bed when you would have liked to, don’t beat yourself up. You can start with the little things like: giving yourself a compliment, drink a glass of water (infused if you want), listen to your favorite song, or do something that relaxes you.
If you’re interested in the bottle, check it out here: Hasana
I’ve also been reading about an energy form of meditation called Reiki. There are people that do this for a living and help move energy around your body according to your chakra’s. They can do this with or without crystals. There are different levels of experience, and the Reiki Master’s are one of the highest. I tried a novice, but am wanting to try a Master.
There are also ancient rituals with incense that cleanse the impurities and the energy in the air. You may have seen sage or other herbs be dried, and bundled and then burnt slightly to emit a smoke that is like an incense stick. Often, it is kept in a large shell. I got mine here.
According to astralcollective.com. “Including abalone shells in your smudging rituals means you are incorporating all four of the earth’s elements: the shell represents water, the smoke represents air, the unlit herbs or sticks represent earth and once they’re lit they represent fire. By incorporating the elements into your smudging ritual, you’re inviting Mother Earth (or Mama Gaia) to be the focus of your ceremony. It is here, in the space created by Her, that transformations and manifestations have room to occur.”
I’m glad you’re here. You are not alone on this journey! Message me if you liked this or if you have an idea!
5Fs 