Paul McCartney eloquently explains that the melody of the Beetles hit song, Blackbird, comes from their version of a classical tune by Bach. But what I find so comfortingly haunting are the lyrics.

Do you ever hear a song for the first time and wonder if it was meant to be that you hear it at that very moment? Here are some of the lyrics:
“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly… all your life”

“You are only waiting for this moment to arise”

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these sunken eyes and learn to see…all your life”

“You are only waiting for this moment to be free”

“Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly.. INTO the light of a dark black night”

It feels more like a life lesson and less like a song. Nonetheless, the lyrics are freeing. I had the unfortunate ah-ha moment –after the fact– that for the last almost 4 years I was oppressed by what I thought was a mentor but was actually a money hungry mongrel. In the last 8 months I have learned more and felt more free than ever before. Sure, I learned along the way but I only learned what I was taught, which was very limited. I was under the thumb of some ding dong, who shall remain nameless, because contrary to the media, I don’t give power to those types. Have you ever felt bamboozled? I hope that instead of this feeling cryptic, this helps you to relate to your own story.

We just have to remember that everything is a learning experience and it all happens for a reason. It is not our plan but His. Let that and the lyrics sink in. You are special, you have a purpose and you are not going anywhere until you figure out that it’s not about the destination but the journey. We have to embrace it all. One of my favorite concepts is remembering that when it is raining and feels so gloomy, that the sun is still a fire ball in space and shining just as brightly, you just can’t see it at the moment. Perception is everything.

The hardest part thus far about this situation has been the heart wrenching realization that even though you eventually learn and move on, those people don’t change and they have their next victims, whether intended or not, in line to experience it next. Unless the next of kin are very witty. A realist, my husband would say, they too will fall in the trap. I am an eternal optimist, and I’d say more times than not, it keeps me propelling forward and in good spirits. It’s just the times when you realized you may have been a little too optimistic that you feel foolish.

The added item that muddy’s the water is mental illness. Sometimes people anticipate the best and make good on their promises…until they don’t. One of my other new favorite sentence endings. Even though someone has the best intentions at first there is one thing you cannot control…mental illness. My life is plagued with mental illness, so I am especially sensitive to it. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, in fact, it makes it more complicated! So some moments are filled with regret and animosity and then the next moment is filled with feeling helpless, pity and sorrow.

To each their own. We address our emotions as they come. The most important part that I have learned is that we recognize these emotions as just that. It’s when you allow them to consume you, define you and control you that they become unhealthy. If you accept them as an emotion, process them as such and let them leave just like they came…THAT is power. That is meditation, that is not allowing your feelings to control you, but acknowledging them and releasing them. In one ear and out the other.

If you haven’t heard of the Blackbird song, or you are craving to hear it after this, check the song out here. I’m so glad you are with me on this journey.

Hi. My name is Melisa Wardlow, and I’m the captain of this ship. No wait, that’s lame. Hi. My name is Melisa Wardlow and welcome to my blog! (?) Wait, I have a blog? No way. I don’t believe you. Yes, I signed up for it. So I guess I have to do it.

Do you ever trick yourself into something? Do you remember the last thing it was? Mine is usually putting an item somewhere because I know I will forget where I put it and then my brain tells me where I will go in the event I lose something.

Then there is that glorious moment, when you find said item in that place. You thank your brain for being so smart that you know where to put stuff. Then, there’s the moment where you are pissed at your brain for putting it in the spot that you have no clue where it is at and you tear the house/purse/car/office/bedroom apart to find it.

Then there is the more common event (than I chose to admit) scenario. The one where you are running on time but you just want to put one more load of laundry in. Or you think in the last minute that it would be smart to bring a drink. Or how about the one where you have time to grab that bag of plastic bags to bring back to recycle at the grocery store. Then, suddenly you’re late. Then you drive away and a block, or a mile, down the road, you realize you don’t have your ________ (fill in the blank). For me it’s usually my phone or wallet. Erghhhh!

If you are married, it’s a whole other ball game. Then you and your significant other get to argue about who is the most late. This is a no-win game, folks! Then add kids and that equals a circus. “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” But wait, it is both! Sorry Charlie. These are the things we do, over and over. What’s that saying? “Life is all about the woman being overly dramatic and gasping when her husband is driving; over and over again until you die.”

What a weird introduction! You will see that you are not the only one that goes on tangents. As a matter of fact, that is what I am dedicating to this blog to. You are not alone. That is the anthem. I think so often that we are going through things that feel like we are the first and only in the history of the universe to experience these things. A lot of that feels like isolation and a lot of it we don’t want to talk about. We feel like people are staring at us, judging us, looking down on us. When in reality, that’s just not the case. I am not weird, I am limited edition. So many people relate to that and want to use that, so yes, you can use that.

I was always jealous of Oprah, and my mom #2 (I’ll explain to you later). They were diligent of keeping a journal…for years! I’ve done it off and on, but it’s nothing that will ever be worth reading. It goes something like: Yay! You had a baby! Cool! You graduated college! Bummer! You are struggling with finding your purpose. But there was never consistency. That is where the brain trick comes in. You sign up for the blog, then you’re committed!

People tell me that I’m inspiring, I should be a life coach, blah blah blah. I don’t see it. But if I can help you understand that we all go through things (without triggering you or making you feel invaluable), then this blog was worth the effort. Welcome to MelWardlow.com I’m glad you’re here.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

I wasn’t entirely sure what to name this blog. I ended up deciding on a portion of my playbook (of sorts). I can’t remember where I got it from, but it’s been my mantra for many years. The 5F’s are: Faith, Family, Fitness, Friends and Finance. The theory goes that if you focus on these 5 things you will have a fulfilled life. Normal people can’t focus on them all simultaneously, so you can focus on them one at a time. By keeping your focus on one at a time, it allows you to not feel bad about putting one thing in front of the other because it is a rotation.

One of the best analogies I have heard as of late is that if you worked out one time per week and ate like crap the whole week, how fast would you make or see any progress? The answer is, you wouldn’t, of course. That’s what happens if you only do one of the 5’s only once a week. Like: going to church on Sunday but not praying or talking to God, or giving people grace the rest of the week. Or talking to family once a week but ignoring them the rest of the week. Or hanging with friends but ignoring their texts all week. Or spending whatever you want all week and not looking at your bills except for one day, etc. It takes a concentrated effort. So that is what this blog is based off of. The 5F’s represent a focused area in a couple of great places.

I think that a lot of success has to do with the set up leading up to that. If you just go willy nilly, that is the kind of response you will get in life. However, if you instead think what actions will cause a better chain reaction and you take them baby step by baby step, you will start to see more and more success. Once you have that pattern and habit, it becomes easier. Until then you need accountability with a friend or mentor or chart or app, etc.

So welcome to the 5F’s. This is not your accountability. This is more thought provoking and relating to each other. We will keep the 5F’s in mind as we go. I’m so glad you are here.