Service fulfills us on many levels, beginning with the simple belief that we’re born to care for others. In “Long Walk to Freedom,” Nelson Mandela wrote, “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, then they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
Several studies show that when we pursue compassionate goals that aim to help others or make the world a better place, we’re less likely to have symptoms of anxiety and depression than when we focus on improving or protecting our own reputation. The act of giving to others activates the pleasure center of our brain. This is why those who help others tend to live longer, be healthier and have a better overall sense of well-being.
Monks strongly believe that the pillar of service makes our lives better in many ways. Service connects us. When we serve, it’s hard to be lonely. In most scenarios, we have to go out into the world to help other people. Service broadens us and increases gratitude. Service gives us a broad view of all that we have, and it increases compassion. When we serve, we see that the world needs what we have to offer. Helping others tells us that we are making a difference in the world.
Shared from Think Like A Monk by Headway App
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There is no universal plan for peace and purpose. We achieve peace and tranquility by training our minds to focus on how to react, respond, and commit to the things we want in life, in our time frame, and at our own time.
When life swerves, we must return to the focus of looking inward. If we wake up resolved to focus on putting our dharma to work and get given tasks that are not in line with our strengths, it’s up to us to find a way to put our dharma to use. We are responsible for the type of life we live in.
When we fail with someone or at something, we shouldn’t judge the process or judge ourselves. There’s no perfect human being, which is why we should give ourselves time to recover and return to a flexible focus on what we want. The world isn’t with us or against us. We create our own reality in every moment.
Try this
Visualizing the inevitable will give you every lesson you need to live a fulfilling life. Fast-forward yourself at age seventy or ninety, and imagine yourself on your deathbed. Ask your future self the following personal questions:
• What do I wish I’d done?
• What experiences do I wish I’d had?
• What do I regret not giving more attention to?What skills do I wish I’d worked on?Use these questions to plan your life and create a roadmap for your future self.
Shared from Think Like A Monk by Headway App
Understanding true happiness means we see the value of being motivated by duty and love. When we act out of duty and love, we know that we provide value to our lives and our society.
Shared from Think Like A Monk by Headway App
Gifts
Let me be the first to tell you to stop giving gifts that you can’t give all the way!
Older people do not keep up with technology the way that you get people do.
I know, I know, we want them to keep up so we can keep them in the loop. I’m here to gently and lovingly tell you to give those gifts but go one step further!
Teach them how to be used! I cannot tell you how many people I visit that want so badly to utilize their new fancy gifts, but have no idea how.
So the next time you want to give a smart phone, or a web cam, walk the person through how to I stall it. Or better yet, install it for them. Then show them how to work it. Offer to teach them. Write down the instructions. They are going to forget as soon as you leave/hang up.
They will appreciate the gift 1000x more. Trust me. This is your public service announcement!
Big hair
Have you seen the woman with the huge hair? The man still driving the station wagon, the person with the glasses from 1973.
Most of these people ha e the funds to upgrade their life. That is not the problem. In fact, they don’t have a problem. People often times have a great and prosperous time in their lives. Their brain associates that time with success, love, fame, fortune. It etched a memory in their brain and they want to stay in that headspace for as long as as they can. These are those people.
So the next time you see someone like that. No need to poke fun, they lived their best life and they are still relishing in it.
Like funny ha-ha
Best (clean) joke at Halloween this year: “How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb?”
“One, but they have to want to change.”
The joke is seriously entertaining but isn’t it true? I wanted to be a financial advisor since I was 17 and the one thing that is so true is people have to want improvement or it just doesn’t work.
This isn’t just the case with saving habits or improving investment strategies. It’s true with anything in life <insert any solution to any problem>.
Even worse, the older we get the more we resist change. Do you know anyone who still has a flip phone?
Any career that teaches people a new way to do things has an up hill battle, and I commend you. It all starts with showing them you are there to help and you are useful. Many times I will fix an unrelated problem that people are hung up on. Like figuring out cash back on a credit card, downloading a Fitbit software, or fixing a cel phone.
Smarty Pants
I used to work with this guy who thought using big words was cool. Cool to sound smart, make others feel inferior. Who knows why?! In the year 2000 I learned logical categorical syllogisms. Today I like working with Fibonacci Retracements. Big words don’t scare me. Neither does antidisestablishmentarianism. What do these words have to do with one another? Nothing! Paraphrasing Einstein… KISS- keep it simple stupid. If you are working with someone in any capacity and they are trying to one up you, by talking in circles or trying to sound smart, they are just scared. Find someone else to associate with.
“‘Til Death Due Us Part!”
Who would vow to such an audacious sentence?! It’s no secret that 50% of marriages end in divorce. It should be more like the meme’s we hear about. Here is my most popular meme on my Pinterest account of supposedly 27,000 monthly viewers.
Funny not funny. I don’t claim to know all of the answers. But I can tell you I have been with my husband for (dare I say?) since 1999. Yeah, we met when we were 5, no, not really. How about the meme that you should have to agree before marriage how many t-shirts your husband can own?! Or how about making sure the wife knows that dinner will be expected each night for the rest of her life.
Marriage is hard. But with the right mindset, you can make it fun. The first rule is there are no rules. The second rule is you have to go with the flow. The third rule is you have to hold your own unless you actually can’t. The fourth rule is you have to have a sense of humor. The fifth rule is sex, health and money issues cannot be unresolved. The sixth rule is that you have to remain a team, even though it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. The kids can’t come first.
Wallah! All of your marriage problems solved….
Hypocrocy
Our mind is a funny thing. It likes to normalize everything we do and question what everyone else does.
Recently I was driving down the highway and was behind a car with the license plate that read: CNCRSUX. I read this to mean cancer sucks. I ended up passing the car and when I looked over the person was smoking a cigarette. My mind instantly went banana’s.
I also have friends that have made comments about lots of random things: motorcyclists who wear helmets and shorts at the same time. Or leathers and no helmet.
People that are wearing a mask pulled down and smoking. The list of oxymoron’s is endless.
But aren’t we all just trying to get along in this world?
Diabetics eat sugar but take medicine.
People with anxiety drink caffeine.
Overweight people work out.
The saying goes that a Plumber’s pipes are always leaky. It’s a saying for a reason people! It’s true! What you do all of the time, is not enjoyable for you to do when you are ready to relax!
We like to judge others, or maybe contribute to the lunacy and just try to take care of others, but we often miss ourselves. Or we are trying to make up for a lack in our own lives. Likely, we are just projecting onto other people our past inadequacies.
We all fall short of the perfection that is our Lord Jesus Christ. But why is it SO HARD to always forget that and give grace to people?
Most of the time I chalk it up to being a comedian and finding the funny aspects of life. Is it okay to laugh about my perception of someone or some thing? I used to think I had an evil spirit, but I have grown spiritually and recognize that when I am judging someone, it’s not to hurt them, it’s to entertain me. I’ve also learned to laugh at myself. Maybe I’ll be like Mother Teresa someday and will mature even further to look past those things. My focus is on love. Show someone you love them today. Don’t just say it, actually show it.
Math, Science and Budgeting
Doing money together is one of the largest causes of couples not staying together. With a little help, you can start to apply the math and science and leave your opinions out of it.
If you agree with the old split the bills in half system, but one person makes more money than the other, then the lower income individual is getting “taxed” more? Even our national tax system is set up to have people that make more, pay more tax. Check out 2020 marginal tax rates from the IRS:
- https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/irs-provides-tax-inflation-adjustments-for-tax-year-2020
Marginal Rates: For tax year 2020, the top tax rate remains 37% for individual single taxpayers with incomes greater than $518,400 ($622,050 for married couples filing jointly). The other rates are:- 35%, for incomes over $207,350 ($414,700 for married couples filing jointly);
- 32% for incomes over $163,300 ($326,600 for married couples filing jointly);
- 24% for incomes over $85,525 ($171,050 for married couples filing jointly);
- 22% for incomes over $40,125 ($80,250 for married couples filing jointly);
- 12% for incomes over $9,875 ($19,750 for married couples filing jointly).
Many people come from divorced households that one partner had issues with how much money was spent. A lot of the divison of household income comes from this experience. One way to combat that is to have one joint bank account that joint expenses are paid from. This leaves the extra money with each individual to do with it what they wish.
Do you “share” expenses with your significant other? How do you split them? Do you add up all of the expenses and then divide that by 2? You get half and I get half. Here is a good joint budgeting website for more insight:
https://adamhagerman.com/share-expenses-living-together/
Another great idea is to have a budget for the items that come up every year but people act like it is a surprise. Take Christmas for example. You know it is coming, so there should be a dollar amount that you set aside for that each month. This way when Christmas comes around, you don’t have to charge it on your credit card.
The zero based budget is one of the most popular budgets. This is where you tell all of your money where to go until there is zero left. You do it intentionally and factor in all of your expenses.
That car you want to upgrade, that annual HOA, that extra friend birthday present, that girl party you want to splurge on a _____? All taken care of, with a sinking fund.
If you are in a pattern or habit and you aren’t sure where to start, you can take a finance class. Dave Ramsey has an entire Financial Peace University that helps people reset and feel confident in their spending choices. Some people agree with Influencer’s and some do not. The point is to start SOMEWHERE. You can figure out who you like later, just pick one and begin.
I don’t work or make money from Dave Ramsey, but I couldn’t find any great articles from Susie Orman. I personally went through Financial Peace University (FPU) in 2015 right before I decided this career was for me! I do volunteer to teach FPU and love what it stands for. Although not perfect, it is a great place to begin your journey to financial freedom.
Science tells us that individuals and couples are both happier when there is not a stress on money. Math tells us that if you live within your means it is possible. The hard part is getting your mind and spirit to work together. It is possible. The biggest clue is to not close your eyes. Do the work each month and it will get easier and before you know it, you will be adult-ing so hard!
You are not alone. Reach out to someone (even me) if you need help.
5Fs 