One year ago today I fell and bruised my tailbone and got a concussion. I was way more concerned about my tailbone until I couldn’t remember how to start my car. When your brain doesn’t work, it is a very scary thing. It was one day before school started and in the middle of moving houses. God answered our prayers and sold our house in 14 days. He sent us a realtor that knew I couldn’t help as much as needed and he stepped in and helped us in the 11th hour. God gave me wonderful clients that were compassionate and a family that understood the assignment. I don’t know how we got through it but we did. I’m so thankful one year later that I’m back to normal. It just goes to show you that not all injuries are ones you can see.
Not being able to see is usually a person’s disability. Isn’t it interesting to think that being blind to someone’s situation could also mean that it’s you not seeing what someone else is going through.
We were at the state fair recently and a elderly women in a electric scooter ran right in front of us and a stranger made eye contact with us who then looked at her with disgust. This triggered my son to have the same feelings about her and she proceeded to “rage bait” him without even knowing it! The truth is, we don’t know her situation. She just wanted some ice cream. She was probably tired of getting bumped into, people walking in front of her, and frustrated so she just decided to take matters into her own hands and people can move out of her way!
I was also listening to a podcast about ADHD and how misdiagnosed it is. The best explanation was used. If you can’t see, you tell your doctor. If they don’t investigate the entire situation, the result is they prescribe you glasses, when what is really going on is you have diabetes that is out of control and effecting your vision. Had they researched the entire picture, they would find the root cause of the vision loss and help you much more than the Band-Aid of glasses.
The point is; give grace if you don’t/can’t know the whole situation.
“It smells so good, like home.” My daughters words after eating dinner and going outside with a friend and coming back in. What music to a mothers ears!
We have lived in our house for 13 years. To a kid, that’s a lifetime. Our family’s needs have evolved over the years and it’s time for our next chapter.
It seemed pretty standard, going through the motions of decluttering, organizing, packing and moving totes. What was missing was the emotion of leaving a place that has been our refuge and safe place for the majority of our kids lives.
Some people move frequently and perhaps they don’t have such an attachment. This one feels different because we don’t move a lot. I remember moving when I was 14 and my brother was 7. He cried for what seemed like days. I didn’t cry one time, I was so excited to be in my new house.
I have not moved often, even before kids. I grew up until age 7 in my childhood home, was homeless for a summer, lived on a rental farm, lived with my dad’s best friend for 2 years then to a tiny rental for 6-7 years before my dad built a house and we moved into that. I moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) when I was 18. We moved to a 4 plex, to a rental house, to our first house we purchased and now this house. Wow, I thought it was less than 4 but it’s been 4 so far in my adult life and getting ready for my 5th.
I do remember crying when we moved out of the house our kids were born in. Now we are moving out of the house they have grown up in. Next will likely be their final house before moving out on their own. I’ve always been the sap and not thinking about the good that is yet to come, but all the memories we are leaving behind.
It didn’t hit me until my husband and I were tearing down the trampoline and he said he was feeling emotional, but guys don’t cry. Apparently I internalized it because I started pulling weeds around a bush that my son got me for mother’s day. He bought it and dug the hole and planted it all by himself. Suddenly, I was bawling.
We poured our blood sweat and tears into our house and now we were going to be entrusting a stranger to do the same. That’s just how life works! The best feeling was having so many of the kids friends over. I’ve lost count at how many said they love how home-y it felt. Many of them said they don’t sit at the kitchen table with their family and eat dinner. They looked uncomfortable at first but settled in quickly to our groove. I hope my kids internalize that and open their house to their friends and family in the future.
I told my daughter not to worry, we will make the next house a home. Just like we did this one. Afterall, home is not where your house is, it is wherever you and your loved ones are.
No one ever talks about the stress of building a home. I didn’t realize it until it was entirely too late and the project was half done. Lucky for my husband and I, we’ve owned and operated a boat for many years – another stressful endeavor. I told the kids if we can go boating together and stay together and we can build a house and stay together that there is nothing that can separate us. The further we got into the project the more I kept hearing about couples splitting up over building a house. I tried to find statistics online and one said 17% of divorces are because of a home renovation project! Our own appraiser asked if we were still married. If I would have known that beforehand, I would have thought twice about it!
As adults, we can handle stress, but I hate seeing the kids see us stressed out. Although, they have seen us go through stressful situations and I feel like when they see us succeed, it gives them more stability knowing that stressful things happen and if you stick together you can get through it. We’ve been talking about coping mechanisms. A lot of it were things like: it’s a team effort not you against them, chose your battles, try and compromise, give space, move your body, cry, do what you have to do deal with it allows you to move on and then regroup with each other when you are feeling better. If you try and make your homelife seem perfect for kids, they won’t know what to do when they are on their own and things are not going their way.
One day we will look back and laugh, but as of right now, we are hanging on for dear life!
5Fs 